"I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."
I am a dreamer. That's all there is.
How about you, dearest?
Maybe it’s just me overthinking and daydreaming but I wish not.
It’s really cold these past few days and my palms were like ice if you touch them but a while ago, during an examination I shared with Cupid, it was almost warm as if summer has visited the winter under my skin.
It’s just foolish of me to forget my exam permit that I attracted attention but I was one of the firsts who finished so it’s okay. As I leave the room, I said I won’t even look back and when I did, in the corner of my eye, I saw him watching me go.
But who am I kidding here.
I want to wear flower crowns and lie on the grass with you and maybe talk and talk and talk until the sunset comes.
I think I am having the symptoms but I am not sick.
There was this guy, my not-crush or I couldn’t just bring myself to admit it or whatever. I don’t know what’s with the weather that makes me think of him and those long, arduous days of what-if’s. We do not know each other actually and I find myself thinking of a way to bump into him like a coincidental stranger approach or maybe a snobbish-but-answer-me-or-else kind.
I mean I don’t want the casual “Hi.” or that moment where you smile big at him thinking he’ll remember you. But no. No.
I find these ideas stupid. And I am not having this disease.
There was this guy with the same course as mine. He was my Augustus Waters. But I am nowhere near the expectation that he will ever notice me. I don’t love him, okay? He’s much like the apple of my eyes.
Anyway, I dreamt about him. We’re on two different lunch tables facing each other. We’re texting? Dreams are really blurry. But the next parts are so vivid. We became friends and we walked together. It was sunny yet the ground was wet from rain. I dunno. I ran home and almost slipped over a puddle of water but before I could hit the ground, he ran to my aid and caught me.
He came with me to our house and he got to know about my family. I mean, they’re all acting weird but he sat there with an amused smile. He kept staring at me and a tinge of understanding passes between us.
After that, we ought to go somewhere but I cant remember the latter parts of my dream.
It’s just so vivid when he whispered so close to my face and his smile competing with the bright sun rays emanating from the spaces between the leaves of trees.
It felt like I could almost reach him.
Then I went, “No.”
Not even a wink of sleep. Nor any decent meal. I wonder how my day will be like.’Cause dam this English paperwork. I used to love English. I never thought that this subject will have formulas and mathematics in its concepts.
Anyone , please do crack a joke. Life’s turning all gloomy and mechanical.
La la la
I think Autumn will be fine and cozy but not with a blizzard of paperworks and examinations. Gaah. Now I have to pull an all-nighter out of the sky so I could finish this one.
Expect some coffee stains.
I was thinking of reading the “A Song of Ice and Fire” series first but then these past few days, I found myself watching “Game of Thrones” series. I hope I made the right choice, although that’s actually a spur of the moment.
If anyone wants to talk about anything just know that my ask is always open. I hope you have a nice day bespectacled rose petals.